Speedy Delivery: A Weekly Song Editorial
Love is the Screw
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Notes: I knew I wanted to write a love song this week (on account of the commercially inflated "holiday"), but I had trouble sticking with one angle. First, I wanted to write a song called the Talkin' Valentine's Day Massacre about a guy who gets mauled for buying the wrong colored roses or the incorrectly cream-filled candies. Then, the title "My Heart's Flat Broke on Valentine's Day" country line-danced into my head out of nowhere. Finally, I decided to deliver a positive outlook on the absurdity of love. Dick Cheney's hunting mess gave this one the punch it needed. At the last minute, I completely changed the entire melody and chord progression, so now I have two songs with one set of lyrics. How pointless!
Love is the Screw
2/12/06
If you were capitalism, I’d be your Valentine’s Day
If you were a box of chocolates, I’d be your holiday weight
Some things go together better than love songs and kazoos
But I go together right with you
If you were President, I’d be your wire tap
If you were 3 dollars, I’d be your gallon of gas
Some things go together better than Kim Jong Il and nukes
But I go together right with you.
Bridge:
Love ain’t no peach, it’s more like a pair
Like war goes with peace, like marriage goes with prayer
If the world’s falling apart, then love is the screw
Let’s screw up the world together, just me and you
If you were a ring of fire, I’d be your Johnny and June
If you were Oprah, I’d be a book that told the truth
Some things never should go together like Grammys and U2
But I go together right with you
If you were a bad halftime show, I’d be your Rolling Stones
If you were a weird Olympic event, I’d be the one with brooms
Some things go together better than vice presidents and aim
But I love you, Happy Valentine’s Day, I'd never shoot you in the face.
I love you, Happy Valentine's Day, Buck Shot, no, no, no
I love you, Happy Valentine's Day
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Comments
I love this song. It's so sweet and it's got the right amount of funny. ^^ Yay!
posted by Rachel on September 10, 2006
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If there's anyone who could be called the "Woody Guthrie of Cincinnati," it's folksinger Jake Speed. Speed is again making moves that would do Woody proud. Speed's "songitorials" are weekly songs about current events. Think of it as a singing editorial with a healthy dose of wit and humanity. Each week, Speed will unveil a new song, dealing with different social issues of the day in much the way Guthrie's "Woody Sez" column once did.
by Mike Breen, Citybeat